If you’re not next to me, you no longer exist in my world. Yes, sometimes I find you running in my head but the proof does not sustain itself for me to believe that your existence is real. I’m done chasing ghosts. I’m done sending messages through doves that hold not proof of being delivered. I want to be done being an energy waster. When will it be enough for me to understand that so long as I cannot see you, you don’t exist…not for now? It helps to focus on any other endeavor to understand that as attractive as you may be, if you’re not here, you cease to exist.
The ghosts around me that aren’t really there are horribly flawed. They were never taught how to be or how to live. They care about every single little thing that does not matter. It turns out he hurt her terribly and I never thought he’d do so. I heard she decided to give up and just become like the others even though she’d been given the chance to live. I heard he’s aging and refuses to believe in anything that’s real. She forced herself on someone that couldn’t give her what was right.
Wonderland is showing itself to me again and I don’t want its fun to be ruined by people that don’t really exist, that don’t really matter. The ones that do exist and are a part of the wonderful tapestry of life are magnificent and that’s all I should need to carry on. I’m letting go of anything that my mind has led me to believe is a necessity when all it does is feed the ego monster. The ego can trick you not only into believing that someone that’s not there is, but it can also make you believe that without the attention your worth decreases.
I cannot see you here next to me and I’ve decided that makes you not exist. Not in a pessimistic way just in a present way. So long as I cannot see you, I cannot give you the attention because it would be a waste of time and energy. And as soon as you decide to show yourself, I’ll be ready and happy to know that I didn’t waste time with ghosts that mean well but have nothing to give. If it doesn’t add value to the equation, take out the numbers that make no sense, the ones that aren’t odd enough to become even. They will cease to exist and I’m staying put until it all adds up in my world.