It’s easy to fall into the trap of only writing when feeling blue. Pain is so overwhelming and eluding, it’s easy to fall into its power and want to share a bit of the burden with others. Maybe that way it becomes bearable and if you’re lucky you can even make it bearable for others.
But it’s just as important to share moments like this one. Life is happening and unfolding in a way that forces me to be nothing but grateful. Yes, I should always be grateful I know. But right now I have so much to be grateful for. For whatever reason I had a hard time not only finding what I love to do but also being able to do it. Having an older brother have it all together didn’t help much but his perfection is nobody’s fault. I still somehow let hope shine through and now I feel like it’s finally happening, I cannot believe it. It makes me want to do more, breathe it all in little by little.
Yes, it can all change in an instant but having felt this passion and love is more than what I could have asked for. Where I live is where I long to be. The melody in my head has finally been heard, if only by a few. The words I write are finally read and no longer misunderstood. One soul still has an empty space in mine but there is just so much to be blissful for, I no longer feel entitled to ask for more.
I want to say thank you every day…even when I don’t feel like it. I want to remember always how fortune is on my side and here to stay. There is still much work to be done but this beginning has filled my soul with light and it’s more beautiful than words could ever express. I know I get to choose where I go from here and there’s no way of knowing how it’ll unfold but this first step is a beautiful one and I intend to taste all its glory. Thank you for inspiring me with your existence. Thank you to the artists that have made life colorful. Thank you mother for the unshakable faith that carried me through. I finally have an idea of what I never knew I always wanted. The path is beautiful and I feel fearless to walk it proudly.