Once Upon Another Time

Once upon another time you wouldn’t have been here and I might not have been there. This moment could have become something beautiful instead of it rapidly become nothing. Once upon another time I was with someone else when I met you and we recognized each other and that moment will forever live in Never Land. Once upon another time you could’ve been a man and not have a Peter Pan complex refusing to grow up. You could have given me the benefit of the doubt and not hold anything against me.

Never Land is filled with doubt and fear. Anything that stops us from living fully goes to a place where existence is killed. I tell myself how if it’s meant to be, it will be. But I can’t help but wonder about what could have been. I wonder where all the moments that didn’t happen go. What if all the fairy tale endings do exist but they’re just not here? What if the boy would have been a man? What if the girl wouldn’t have stolen his heart and he could still be whole? These are all moments living somewhere else. But unfortunately we live here; in a land where what couldn’t have been is invisible and, for most, lost forever. For me, they’re there. I can feel those lost moments but I find comfort in knowing they are someone else’s now, in a different place and time.

Once upon another time I could not write about this and pretend, like almost everyone does, that it’s all perfect and pretty. I could remain silent, keeping my thoughts to myself fearful of the judgment. But that once upon a time wouldn’t be me and it wouldn’t be real and maybe it’d be easier but there’s a driving force inside that screams for me to share. Yes, once upon this time is intense, dramatic and emotional. But all I can do is give a voice to how I feel. I want to sing for those who can’t. I want to live in a land where I can make it a little easier on someone else. I want whatever I go through to have a purpose, even if it means not getting what I want. I’d still choose once and again to be open and free to say whatever I feel I must; and there’s no other time to do that but here and now.

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