The fighting

Fighting has become something people are good at. One wins the other loses. Or so they think. But who wins really? We fight, we get exhausted and then we feel horrible. The true winner is the one that does not engage; not even when there’s enough reason to, not even when we think we should. 
Don’t get me wrong, you’ll never let anyone disrespect you. But the best moment for that is after the anger, after anything has or hasn’t happened. Just after, later. 
Don’t engage. Let it be. Let it go. 
You’d think I’m only talking about fighting with your couple, with a friend or even an enemy. I’m also talking about yourself. Stop fighting with yourself. You’re the one you attack the hardest. “You’re not good enough.” “You’ve made too many mistakes.” “You can’t do it.” These are just a few of the many horrible things you tell yourself. Stop. The lower self will attack you and you must learn not to engage and be kinder. Be more loving. I know you think you’ve fallen behind in life but even if you have, that’s not good enough reason to be tough. As I’ve said before, there’s never a good reason to fight, to attack, to hurt. 
Feel the emotions, let them move you towards something positive and then LET THEM GO.
It’s a hard task to embark on. It’s hard because we’ve grown used to fighting and winning. Win and enjoy your glory but don’t drag your emotions through the gutter. The less you fight, the more enlightened you’ll feel. The more enlightened, the better the life. 
A woman hates you and wants to fight. What do you do? You don’t do anything. You don’t ask for any favors, you pretend she doesn’t even exist. Why? Because this will protect your peace. And your peace is a treasure that you should protect at all costs. 
Don’t engage. Let it be. Let it go.

The imperfection 

You’re stuck in traffic. Life sucks. It’s all very hard except it isn’t. We make it suck. It’s all relative. When you’re born privileged you feel entitled to things to be perfect. They aren’t and never will be. 
The lesson here is to chill when it isn’t perfect. You’re terrible at this. You want to know why everything happens the way it does. You can’t know. You might never know. Not until you’re perfect. I love you but we both know you’re not perfect. Not until you get here.
So in the midst of madness and insecurity; what to do? Dance. Smile. Listen to music. Say positive affirmations. There’s never NOTHING to do. 
Even in desperate times, there’s something to be done. People think it’s hopeless. It’s not. 
You didn’t get the raise at work you know you deserved? Well, you can whine and cry but it’s not gonna change a thing. Instead carry on with the job and focus on the very little good it has. And let it motivate you to find something better. If it feels like the wrong job it’s because it is. WAKE UP! You’re better than that. 
I know you lack confidence so keep working on that. Keep working on yourself, your art. The dark path doesn’t have to be an ugly one. Embrace the mess. It makes for a better story. 
Love always,

The living

It’s funny how people live. They truly forget what matters. Also, the drama. So much of it is unnecessary. We shouldn’t need much to be happy. Some people are very organized with their lives, others cannot stay inside the lines. You like to run around in your mind and then feel guilty about it. Don’t. Have you ever wondered who made the rules? No one did. So don’t follow them. 
Be kind and do what feels right but don’t live life according to anyone or anything. No one is imposing that on you. You do it to yourself. 
The ups and the downs make a life. Being with someone or being alone is a life. Having money or not having money is a life. Don’t be so quick to judge. Try to be nicer to yourself and others. Try to LET IT GO. We hold on tightly to things that do not matter. 
Live today and live it calmly. Be yourself and don’t apologize. Don’t complain and don’t get used to misery. It’s hard to get rid of it later. Make it a habit to be happy and most of your life will feel worthy. 
Enjoy kids and their unapologetic authenticity. Smell the flowers. Create. Sing. There’s enough to be grateful for. Focus on what you’ve done and not on how you’ve failed. 
Live your life. Don’t worry. Be you. Enjoy the boredom. Strive for interesting. If you don’t like the life you’re living, create a better one and if you can’t: write a better one. There’s always a way out. There’s always something that makes you want to keep going. 
Live. Live. Live

Love always,

Yellow

After the mourning has passed, the colors seem to have faded and they’re splattered all over the world. But on an excessively bright day, in a very tiny town in the middle of nowhere, all I can see is yellow. Her favorite color was yellow. It hurts to mention her still because the wound is trying to scab but I must. I must because I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to forget the feeling of her presence. Her perfect hair, how she did her makeup and how when she saw me, there was only love. No matter what we did, she’d say that family was born forgiven. Last night I dreamt with her. She was alive and I was in shock. And I asked her what was happening and she said: “Sweetheart, I’m never going to die.”

I’m sure she’s kissing the lilies as she’s waking up. She looks around and whenever she wants to see yellow, it’s there; the perfect shade of yellow. Her youth is back and her high heels on. Her hair is yellow and her glasses gone. She’s surrounded by gold and the very few flaws she had here, gone. She’d like to talk to us and she will. Oh how she will.

It’s been cloudy here. I’ve been looking for stars but can’t find them. I’m excited for November. That was her month and that’s when all the stars decide to shine the brightest. This November I’ll be like a kid waiting to find the brightest star and not only talk to her but have her show me the way. The way to love,  the way to passion, the way to live.

Out of all the things she created on this Earth, one was the greatest: an angel with pink wings. This pink angel flies around helping others, expecting the best to happen. Many try to shoot her down because they do not like what they cannot understand, but they don’t succeed because they cannot really see her or her wings. She moves faster than light. You can’t kill what you can’t see. Only two people look up and can actually see her. And when they do, they’re mesmerized.

Yellow had to fight for her unique existence. Pink has to fight for hers. I probably will have to fight for mine, I already do. I can look at these three lives from the past present and future, I know their worth. And if fighting for survival means at least touching and saving one life, it’s worth it. I’ll do it.

Yesterday, the only color I could see was yellow. Today, it’s yellow and pink. I hope tomorrow purple will show up and then slowly all the colors of the rainbow will be back. It’s a slow process but it’s not about the speed, it’s about the beauty we’re able to capture in each and every moment. I’m capturing this one. It can be bright, it can be dark. But it certainly has an endless amount of love.