Say yes

She came, she conquered, she inspired. She believed in something and it became more than what she could have ever imagined. She worked hard and found something she loved. Sometimes the smallest things can inspire you to do more and be more. This is exactly what I want to do. I still haven’t found it. But day by day I feel closer to finding what it is I’m supposed to be doing. I must fight and push through and believe that it can and will happen.

Things are looking up and fear has tried to cripple in but I won’t let it. I want to say yes. Yes to life. Yes to love. Yes to finding and doing what I am passionate about. I will start with one single step and I’ll try to kick my own ass. I’m already getting fit, eating healthy and that in itself is a step in the right direction. I’m 32 and many times think it’s too late but that’s a complete waste of time. Whatever time I have left is time I have to get moving and become one of those kick as chicks I so much admire.

My life is anything but a straight line and it’s not figured out but that’s OK. So long as I keep going and believe that it can still happen it will, then it will. You have to be inside of life for it to find you. Inspiration has to find you working. Sophia Amoruso is a true inspiration. What I love about her story is that struggle shows up and she kicks its ass and moves on. I admire that beyond words. I will become a #GIRLBOSS if it kills me. Coming soon…

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The battle 

Me: I hear you heart and please stop. I feel you and you hurt. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I haven’t been brave enough to pursue my dreams. I’m sorry failure has left me paralyzed. I’m sorry I couldn’t make better choices. Please forgive me, please stop. 

Heart: I forgive you completely but why are you giving up? I’m still beating and you know what that means? It’s not over. You can still pursue your dreams. Even if it’s more difficult, even if you feel you can’t do it again. If I’m still beating, then you can. So I know I’m broken and that makes it harder for you to carry on. I’m working on that. But even if we hurt, I know you can push through the pain and do what we love. Keep pushing, keep trying. And when you can’t and you don’t; that’s ok. But just try to picture what it’ll feel like when you’re successful and making a difference, when you’re fulfilling your calling; when you’re helping others. I know you hear and feel me; there’s a reason for that. Don’t ignore me. If anything, acknowledge me and talk to me; just don’t be indifferent to my desires. They are real and they are beautiful and they are authentic and can give you what you want. Do not let fear get in the way. He is someone you definitely shouldn’t listen to. And the details in between such as jobs, money, what others think, do not matter; not even a little. What people who love you say matters, what I say matters, when you see your greatness, that matters. Focus on what matters and don’t care about unimportant endeavors. They’re just there on the wall, they’re not the main performance. You know what it is; stop forgetting. And don’t silence me. At least hear me And give me a voice! I’m here for you to listen; for you to feel alive. Thank you. xx