Party girls

Party girls don’t get hurt, Sia’s right. Why does the numbness make big girls cry in the darkness then? Where do these suppressed emotions go? Do we bury them deeper or do we become so good at pretending that they actually disappear.

 1,2,3…1,2,3

 Party girls drink, this is true. Why do some have it together so easily and these girls don’t? How did we become these party girls? We like the attention, we like the emotions. We’re fabulous and nobody can deny it. Behind the scenes isn’t as glamorous but equally beautiful.

 1,2,3…1,2,3

 We just want to fly through the night and have our tears finally dry out. Will they ever disappear? Will age help? I don’t know. Until morning light, we’ll keep the glasses full. Until the moon vanishes, we’ll hold on as tightly as we can. The shame will show up but soon enough, the night will come again.

 1,2,3…1,2,3

 Losing count might be the only thing that makes us not lose it completely. Swinging from a chandelier seems perfectly understandable when this living situation makes no sense whatsoever. We don’t know where we are or where we’re suppose to be. It rang true to my heart.

 1,2,3…1,2,3

 I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to escape. Have I succeeded? Well, can anyone escape themselves? Until I know, I’ll hold on for dear life.

Yours and mine

You want to make the world better. I want to create an escape. You´re studying to understand and change the world. I´m studying to recreate what already exists. We shared our passion and as different as they are, we agreed on what matters to us both. Life is too short not to take the time to do what we hold dear. We both want a career in concert going. But just a little bit more than seeing others perform, I´d love to perform myself. I´d love to sing to you. My voice longs for a microphone. Your hands long for a helpless soul. Different targets, same concept. I cannot seem to get my mind off of you. You are running inside my head and playing around with my thoughts as if it were your personal playground. I complain not, I simply do not know how to cope with a strange creature inside my head.

I know now I´m in your head too and that gave me a joy I didn´t even know I craved. Like sugar, my craving for you wanting me was stronger than I cared to admit. Your words held an unknown power; my expectations were exceeded by simply holding nothing against you. You were a pleasant surprise. I never knew that what you had to offer was what I precisely needed. We played our cards right, we took it as far as anyone in our place could. We never said anything we would regret, no lines were crossed.

Your heart met mine and they became instant friends. We weren´t careless, we were careful. Your presence put everyone else at easy; especially me. Your unawareness never interrupted the object of my affection. My loving demeanor was as obvious as I wanted it to be and as easily expressed as it should have been. Your absence interrupts the sequence of my day. My willingness to present myself as I am was finally understood by the opposite sex. Your honey covered blue eyes filtered by the glasses framing your face are frozen. My long black hair was messy as always and getting in the way of what´s logical.

How I felt when in your presence is what will never be forgotten. How you felt when around me is what I hope you´ll always remember.