Beauty and the beast

She was lovely but secretly broken. He seemed lovely but was secretly a beast. 

We go around living and these brains of ours make choices for us. Choices based on our past and how it was all dealt with back then. What are we supposed to do with that? I guess we should tame the beast inside us as much as we can. 

His beast is easy to recognize; hers is a bit more hidden  because I she a flower growing up that taught her to take care of that inner wilderness. A flower that’d tell her how pretty she was even though others would say otherwise. The flower believed she’d bloom into something mesmerizing, something beautiful. 

He never had a flower. The beast was raised by wolves and didn’t know how to go about it. 

They grow up and meet. They both have beasts that fight. Their character coexists and now and then you can smell the flower’s scent trying to spread joy. There is passion and there is much love to be had.

Will the beasts be tamed or will they run wild? That is what everyone wants to know what there’s a beauty and a beast.

Advertisements

Visibility

This is the first. This is the first time I can see him. He was there but I couldn’t see him. It turns out I was invisible. It turns out I couldn’t see myself. I realized I was invisible a few years back and started to freak out and started asking myself why. Instead of trying to become visible, I could not get over the fact that I was invisible. Maybe he was there but I couldn’t see him. I couldn’t see me.

It took me years to become visible. No one gave me the recipe. I was lonely in my invisibility. I did get to meet other invisible creatures and they were all quite interesting. Because I was invisible, I spent no time acquiring much. I don’t know how much faith I had in becoming visible. Not because I didn’t believe but because I became comfortable with not being seen. The hidden souls had an interesting pull. They listen to music that the visible can’t hear. They drink a lot of wine and talk about the pain all the time.

For an instant, I thought that was it. Except it wasn’t. I was forced to spend time with some visible creatures and as much as I tried to ignore them, they were screaming. They wanted me to come to life. Why? I wondered. They knew I wasn’t born to be hidden. They knew I could always cherish my invisibility powers but shine bright and rid myself of the fears.

I slowly started to show myself. It was a very slow process. It was a process that I wasn’t even aware was in progress. The transition was life changing. There were many losses, including parts of me. I lost touch with the invisible crowd. They kicked me out of their space when they realized what was happening. I didn’t even know it but they were starting to see me and that was breaking the cardinal rule.

I’ll never know where they are because I can’t easily see them anymore. They are gone. They will always have a special place in my heart and I remember their faces full of misery and false hope very vividly. I loved their music, their drama, their darkness.

And now it’s my first time. I get to see this beautiful green eyed creature and he is as alive as I am. Because I was formerly invisible and unaware of being so, it’s quite a fascinating experience. I am anything but one thing and he isn’t as complex but full of life and love; it’s mesmerizing. That’s the thing about the invisible ones; they have a certain kind of allure; but the visible ones are the allure. They are beautiful and unapologetic. They walk in and want to be seen.

I wasn’t sure if it’d be worth it to become visible; in certain ways it’s harder and more challenging. But then it happened and now I can’t wait to catch up. I want to do everything and go everywhere. I want to embrace life after I’ve slowly discovered myself and have walked into the light. I’m seen.

I’ll never judge the invisible ones. I’ll never judge the visible ones. I just think there’s a time and place for everything. Try not to waste too much time asking yourself why things are the way they are and work on figuring out how to become what you want to be deep inside. Choose your company accordingly.

Deep inside I wanted to be visible but couldn’t admit it. Now I am visible and the sights and sounds are positive and vibrant. I can’t believe I can see him as easily as he can see me. It’s yellow and it’s right. It’s obvious and it’s clear. It shouldn’t be confusing or negative. It should be beautiful and bright.

The beauty of light

I have always had the light on me but I just couldn’t seem to find that ray that I knew would be so special. How did I know that there could be a perfect ray of light? I knew because light is so beautiful that when I saw it I would simply know that with its virtues and faults it would simply be perfect for me and I would want that light to shine on me for as long as possible. Of course, you know how the sun can be. Sometimes it decides to show and sometimes it doesn’t…. never will it be our place to choose when it should or shouldn’t shine, simply enjoy the light when it spreads upon you. It’s exactly the same way with life. I wish I could tell you that this ray of light will always be as beautiful and bright as you see it now…but this isn’t so. The important thing to remember is that no matter how cloudy the sky might get, the sun is constant and it is always there; just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean that it’s not there or that it won’t come out again.

You may have other shiny spirits cross your path but you’ll know right away if this is it for you or not. How can you know if your light is shining strong enough for another to find your source? Easy, if you choose according to what is right and not what makes sense, then you’ll be on your way. The more you trust these creatures called instincts and intuitive energy, the more often you will see this beautiful light. I can actually say that I have come across this kind of beauty for a while now. Some I could tell right away and others it took me a while, but it was right on the spot. These souls have been a source of energy, enlightenment, joy, peace and inspiration. Some I know, some I admire, some I miss and some I enjoy. It doesn’t matter how it may happen but when it does you simply know that there is a power stronger than all of us and you just want to be an instrument to communicate this source of endless power.

I met a restless soul a few days ago and we crossed paths briefly yesterday and today. Oddly enough it finally showed itself in the form of a man; it has been a rare occurrence because it usually has appeared as potential clients, friends and family, but never like this. This has brought a newfound faith because some days I was holding on to nothing as much as I could. I didn’t know why but I just kept my head up and refused to let the past cripple on my shoulder and stop me from trusting. Now I know that this hope came through and that there are interested parties out there. Is anything going to happen? That’s something that I can’t say and doesn’t matter whatsoever. You may think I’m crazy, but that’s a good thing. Insanity keeps you sane sometimes and oddly enough I can say that the direction this follows is irrelevant because all I needed to know was that it’s there and whatever needs to happen will. Of course if I am going to be human for a second I would have to say that all I want to do is talk for hours, share books, music, art, love; kiss passionately, stop time, enjoy each other in every single way and never hold on too hard that it will ruin it all. The only thing constant in life is change and I know that we both understand this and it simply takes it to another level of perfection. How did I get here? I wonder…it took experiences, authenticity, letting go and being. That’s why I have to say that there’s no other way to live or love. Most people may not get it or may run far away but that’s good because their opening a space for the people that actually deserve to be in your life. I am never going to say that I deserve something or someone…I’m just finding my reflection on the other side and I love what I see. If these are the men that are attracted to me then I must be something…ha-ha. Stupid ego getting in the way of my inspiration; it is ok though; I’ll just pass it by and not give it the attention it wants and doesn’t deserve.