Amnesia

She woke up in the woods and couldn’t remember a thing. She vaguely remembered who she was but didn’t remember what she believed in. She woke up to a world where she had made many mistakes, she couldn’t remember but she could feel it. What she didn’t get was how those mistakes were designed for her to understand life a little bit better, in a different way. She had to let go of the concepts ‘the others’ had brainwashed into her mind. She was young but not terribly so. She was strong, but sometimes not strong enough. She knew better but forgot that she did.

After finding her way out of the woods, she was in a place full of people. She was no longer alone but felt terribly lonely. She wanted to float away and be back in the woods where it was only her and nature.

The people around her had lives, full ones it seemed. The people around her knew what they were doing, or so it seemed. Everyone pretended, or so it seemed. But what she didn’t yet know is that the only ones who really have it together are the ones that don’t care if they do or not. They are the ones that knew better than to show off.

She woke up and started to remember. She woke up and knew that not knowing was OK. That her mistakes weren’t life threatening. All she could do was remind herself over and over again what it’s all about. All she could do sometimes was eat the fresh fruit, nourish herself with kind words and walk freely through wherever she seemed to be. Yes, sometimes it was too small but it was also lovely.

Everyday she forgot. Everyday she had to remember. Some days the joy took over and other days the struggle was uphill. Some days she woke up after a nightmare and others after a beautiful dream. Some days it took her minutes to find her way, others almost the entire day. Reading helped, writing saved her. Singing made her float and capturing images opened her eyes.

It’s fine to feel as though it’s too much, so long as you keep going even when you really don’t want to. So long as you don’t give up, that’s fine. Others might not seem to swim against the current as much but that’s not you. You are you and you’re supposed to make the most of it. You’re not suppose to question as much as you do, just enough. You’re supposed to remember because some never even wake up. Some remain, never to be truly seen. Others wake up only to get lost and never be found. Be grateful. Stay strong and know that even when you feel alone, you’re not. There has to be someone else in this very big world that feels the same way. And if you’re lucky, you’ll find those restless souls and keep each other company for a while. Just try to remember, close your eyes and remember.

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