This concept came to me whilst I admired a red head’s music. A singer songwriter at heart, I not only listen to her music; I breathe it in, I feel it pass through me. I shiver as the piano makes that very grand sound. She has compared playing the piano to breathing. I can only imagine that it’s because it comes so naturally to her and because without it she simply couldn’t live, it wouldn’t be her. I see her and it’s inexplicable. For the longest time I wanted to be her. How could I not? Her enchanting talent, her message, and her strength were empowering. Especially to a little girl who wasn’t sure who she wanted to be.
But now I want to be me. I want my voice to be heard. Not with desperation, but with a certain calmness that only maturity can bring. I wanted to be anyone but myself and that is the opposite of what my desire should have been. The one true reason I admire the people that I do is because they are unapologetically themselves. Why then would I strive not to do the same?
Most people who know me well enough say that music is the path for my voice to be heard. But I can see several paths. I can see a straight line and a zigzag. I can see the moments when it’s downhill and the uphill cliff. I want to try the fruit from different trees, not just one. I might not be able to try it all, but at least some. I love the music, but I also love the words. I love the images and also the designs. I strive to be myself and every single shade in between.
This time I will do it and I will do it right. I will rid myself of confusion and doubt. I will let go of the fear and finally embrace who I am. So far, it’s been quite liberating. I guess the only obstacle to become me, was me.
Yes, her voice is enchanting and has a very unique message from Peggy. But mine can be just as great. Admiration can blind us into forgetting about ourselves and our expression. It’s no one’s fault. It’s our job to fall in love with this body we’re in. It’s our job to be infatuated with the creature that is us. Because if we aren’t madly in bliss with the experience we’re having, what’s the point of life? It’s incredible how we give our power away when we should protect it.
Her voice inspired me to find my own and for that I am forever grateful. Just never forget, in the midst of the madness, that more than looking up to anybody…you should look up to yourself. Then suddenly, your worries won’t be a burden; they’ll slowly vanish. You’ll breathe easy and know there’s nothing better than being your own.