Longing

I always want more. I always long for someone, for something. I don’t know if this is my destiny but it’s how I feel. I’ve been trying to feel good and feel like I’ve somewhat succeeded. I don’t know how to stop longing for him. The problem with longing is how much we miss out. I almost missed meeting a great guy because I was longing for more, wondering and desiring the dream in my head. I want to be happy, I want to fly. I always wonder. I wonder about what could have been and what is. I am open to learning though, that saves me from myself. I never completely believe whatever I believe in. I am open to suggestions if it’ll make me happier.

I want to be zen. I want to be healthy and have a great body. I want balance and I want things to make just enough sense to be joyous. I want to be desired and loved. I long for him. I also think of him longing for me and I smile. He’s far away and I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again.

I long for a moment where there’s nothing more to long for. I do admire passion and know longing can be full of it. I have an artist’s soul and want people to feel even if it isn’t perfect. I don’t want to hide how I feel and be free.

There’s no conclusion but that I’ll sit in this tiny chair, reading a book and long for you. I’ll sing and hope that someday, somehow you’ll listen. I’ll sit here, waiting, smiling, crying and longing only for you and for me and what we could have been together.

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