I’m filling spaces that are empty. I’m truly trying to change my ways. When you rid yourself of what doesn’t serve you or when it’s taken care for you and certain things vanish, space is left.
It used to be a mourning of what was lost, what was taken, but it should have been a celebration.
The spaces are supposed to be there, they were created for a reason, maybe even on purpose.
I’m learning how to enjoy the spaces in between the learning and the living. This is not a lesson, simply a feeling; a necessity for space and a break. Living and feeling the way I do almost requires it.
It was easy to feel victimized when so many things didn’t work out the way I expected them to. I don’t know when or how I became entitled. We have no right to demand anything from life. All we can do with it is play our part the best way we can, enjoy the spaces in between roles and be grateful for the rest.
I am utterly tired of thinking anything or anyone should be better. I’m tired of being disappointed. I’m tired of having a lot of space between what is and what I think it should be.
All I can do is try, have faith and be happy.
I’m done fighting whatever is not there. If I fight, it’ll be for the right reasons and only if it’s truly necessary. I’m always caught in the middle and in between worlds and all I need is space and clarity to do what is right. Hopefully I’ll end up where I’m supposed to and know it all had a purpose; the good, the bad and all those tiny little spaces in between. All those spaces of uncertainty.