What I remember

It’s easy to forget. It’s easy to let go of wonderful things we got to see, experience, feel, suffer, understand and simply live through. It can be painful but also very beautiful. It should all be worth celebrating. It’s good to know how far we are capable of going in a year or so. Some things you’ll understand, others you won’t. That’s fine because being understood isn’t really the point. This is the homage of what I’ve gotten to witness. I hope it encourages you to make a list of your own and honor the living you’ve done.

• The Civil Wars merged their beautiful conflicting voices to create a beautiful fusion of passion and expression. I listened. I loved them.
• I fell painfully out of love.
• I understood love a bit better, only a bit.
• I sang, a lot. I sang and was reminded of the voice I was given. It was blissful.
• I lost a lot of the fear.
• I lost one of my closest friends that had hurt me in the past and that I had forgiven only to have him hurt me all over again. Oh well.
• I lost and made new friends.
• I fell in lust a few times.
• I tried controlling situations that weren’t meant to be controlled.
• I was admired and disrespected.
• I was left in the jungle alone, without shoes. I found my way back after getting lost. Crazy and true.
• I made many mistakes with people but learned about humanity, how flawed we can all be.
• I still didn’t learn to play an instrument. Maybe next year.
• I got my first article published and it felt as amazing as I thought it would.
• I got my camera, my beautiful camera. It shows me the world in a beautiful way.
• I was a professional photographer for a magazine, emphasis on the ‘was.’
• I gave up on love a little, not enough to give up on it completely…but close.
• I felt, breathed, and endured pure passion, the reddest kind. The kind of passion that is trying to pump out through your heart. The most heart wrenching and wonderful kind.
• I was inspired by beautiful images.
• Antigua showed me its beauty and stayed loyal to me.
• I started a photography blog.
• I still love my mother the most. She gets me.
• I was finally able to live on my own in a house that I love.
• I got terribly sick a few times.
• I lost and gained weight.
• I felt beautiful and ugly.
• I took many naps; they were good.
• I read books, but not nearly as many as I would have liked.
• I partied, a lot.
• I learned, a lot.
• I cried, a lot.
• I’m still alone and still trying to figure that one out.
• A close friend got married and had a baby.
• I still didn’t finish my book, I think about it all the time though, it lives in me.
• I have Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest and love them all in a very unique way.
• I started working online, dream come true.
• I became much more independent.
• I bought pretty things that made me smile.
• I started to need less than usual.
• I drank a lot of coffee and it hugged me with its warmth and bitterness.
• I’ve gotten to know people from all over the world, literally.
• I’ve kissed frogs.
• I fed my musical addiction.
• I let go just a little bit more than I held on.

Many things to celebrate and think about happened. I hope it inspires you in some weird way to celebrate your unique self and the life that you lived.

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