I never knew they were there. I never knew their meaning. All I did was survive and make it through the day. The days were sunny and pretty but I didn’t know what dreams meant. Then someone told me about them but I still wasn’t sure about their worth, I still didn’t understand. Then someone told me I had a voice and I semi believed them. So with a semi belief in myself, I chased a dream that was a monster…a monster I sort of wanted but still wasn’t sure of its existence; I didn’t really want it badly enough.
Then I started to encounter many things I didn’t want. I started to try. Because so many people talked about these so-called dreams, I decided to find one. I tried and failed. I tried and found something else. I met people, some with dreams and some without them. Others hadn’t only found them but held them in their hands. Others knew what their dream was but were empty-handed.
And so, I found out about success. No one had told me about this either. All I was taught was to seize the moment and enjoy life. Funny how this is a dream for many and for me it was a habit. But because I, as almost anyone else, live in a world called society, I started to care about being successful. Turns out I didn’t have much to show for myself and I came from a highly successful family that had a very strict policy not only about success but on how to get there step by step.
I then discovered passion somewhere in the south. I discovered what people look like when they not only find what they love, get to do it but are also passionate about it. Now it wasn’t only about finding and doing it; it was mainly about doing it passionately. These people were the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. They shined and breathed emotion. They enchanted me with their power.
Now I’m in between several worlds. I have tasted several colors and flavors. I have seen more than most. I have gotten very close to pure passion. I have been far away lost in Never-land. I have gone and come back. I find the path but somehow lose track of where I should be.
This time I can see the dream. It’s not specific, but I can feel it. It’s on the shelf waiting for me to read it just as an eager book waits for its reader. This time the desire is pumping out of my chest. This time I know I will get there…I simply don’t know exactly how. But I believe and it’s enough to rest easy. The thoughts escape me and then I must chase them around the forest, collect them and organize them enough to create the beautiful dream that is scattered in my brain. It’s still messy and unclaimed, but it’s mine and it’s beautiful. Soon we will find each other and live the life we’ve slowly created. One I never knew I had dreamed of all along.