Full disclosure

I started writing this in September and finished it today. It amazed me how different I felt then…so here’s a combination of who I was and who I am…

She’s strange and lovely. She’s also lonely. She has finally figured out how to be, until she forgets but then remembers. She finally knows what matters most and how sadly many don’t. She has become her own source to attract what she’s always wanted.

She pushes people enough to know who’s worth keeping close. In spite of the imperfections she’s had to live with, she finally feels as perfect as perfect can be.

She usually wears black and keeps her hair long. She knows how precious her voice is, unless she remains silent. No matter how far she gets, she knows how valuable perspective can be.

‘You intimidate me’ is the phrase she repeatedly hears. ‘I can’t give you what you want’ is another one. At first she wondered why, now she knows why and secretly loves it. If they can’t take it, the problem is theirs not hers.

She can be complicated, blunt, uninterested and a bit much but worth having around.

Most don’t want to hear the truth, it hurts. Most don’t understand. Living a lie can be much easier. She couldn’t ignore her voice and how loud it can get. As painful as it can be, she must remain true to herself.

All she could really do was try. All she could do was show herself as transparently as she knew how to be. That’s how she was wired.

She’s tall and smiles as soon as her soul shines, which is gladly often.

She knew the time had come for her to love her skin, every inch of it. She had put together a collage of images and finally could see the picture of who she had become. She loved allowing life to happen to her.

She smiles and knows there’s no one better to be but herself. She cries and knows how much easier it would be to leave but still decides to stay. She tried and keeps trying.


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