“Sights and Sounds pull me back down another year. I WAS HERE. I WAS HERE.” –Tori Amos
There was a time when the world made no sense to me. The world outside was never understood and barely accepted. Instead of living in it, I decided to create my own. I maybe met a couple of souls that understood and all we could do was drink wine and share our insides. Right then and there we poured ourselves out and decided to enjoy the silence. I’m the luckiest girl because the most special creatures reveal themselves to me and as soon as I see their beautiful ink, I tattoo them all over my body and never forget every single inch of their being. Yes, my memory can be cruel at times but in times like these, I love it. I remember every single one of you. Now it all makes a little more sense.
Here are my tattoos; An angel that gave me life and is a constant light no matter which path I find myself in; she is who I want to become; a childhood friend who is trustworthy of the key to every single one of my secrets; a twin who’s my exact opposite, he protects me from the evils of the world, as impossible as it seems. Wonderful Los Angeles creatures that helped me see beauty from within and to hear the voice that had been there all along. A Christian boy that saved me from myself; perfect timing we had. You gave me music, so much beauty. A make up artist that painted the world with watercolor hope; San Francisco girls that taught me about compassion. An unconventional chef that not only sweetens the world with her bluntness but also saves puppies. A communicator that loves love; a psychologist that quietly sneaked her wit into my world. An underwater creature that makes a difference and many teachers that have made life not only grammatically correct but also properly lived; a kick ass bartender with a lifetime of wise stories to tell. And the new souls that have shown me a strong scene and will make this one unforgettable, literally.
So yes, I have lived and fully. I have had spaces of loneliness and misunderstandings. I have finally fallen in love, if only for a second. I have felt the pain but I’ve felt the joy. I am the queen of trying and failing. I couldn’t, even if I begged, take any of it back. I have seen different angles of the same scenes and I love them all. It’s never truly what it seems. I like to change the looking glass often so I can taste every single color in the box. I haven’t physically moved as much but have changed my mind several times. I have heard the music, I have danced, and I have seemed insane. The images are engraved and the memories stored. I have also tried too hard and sometimes never hard enough. I am anything but one thing and my own company has also been an influencing one. Thank you for existing and thank you for being. Every single second, minute and moment wouldn’t have been as amazing without you.