Fooled

The more I know, the more I open my eyes and realize how fooled I have been. It’s almost as though everything I thought I wanted was just an illusion and I can’t remember where it began. I can’t believe how surreal this is. My mind has been playing tricks on me and I have finally called its bluff.

Now I know why. Why I went through the struggle, why people act the way they do, why they can’t see what I see and why I am where I am at this point in the scenario usually called life. I can see why I am me and how it has all found a way to unfold itself the way it has. And even without knowing why it all happened, I’m done being fooled. A love fool, a life fool. My heart has multiplied itself so that I can keep giving it away wholeheartedly. I would love nothing more but to be able to say that it won’t mend itself for me to give it away all over again, but it will and I will. I hope my heart can find a way to forgive my recklessness.

It has been building up. You cannot know how far you can go unless you’re pushed to the limit. I had been pushed to the limit and learned about half of what I could have. I have been thrown off the edge and decided I’d learn about seventy percent of the lesson it held within its painful awakening. And now it came back again and I’m determined to learn its lesson entirely. I know now that a lesson unlearned keeps coming back to haunt you. It presents itself in different forms. Every time the unexpected happens, it’s here to teach you…but only if you’re willing to learn.

I will never strive for perfection because there is no such thing…not amongst the living. Society used to be a pair of crutches that held me up when I couldn’t get up on my own. The crutches can be a curse because you get accommodated and play it safe. It pushes you to be like the rest, to be adequate. And anybody who knows me knows that adequate is just not my favorite color.

Choosing not to open your eyes is dying in the midst of the living. Why then are we amongst these dead souls that can’t find the path of truth? They seem to be fooled into living lives they care nothing about. It’s not our job to know; it is our job to live as fully as our hearts allow us to, to be the unique souls we were meant to be and hope that it will inspire and help people do the same. I have decided to be fooled by no one, not even by myself. The concepts I had decided to believe were untrue and painful. This time I know better, this time I cannot be fooled because the ideas I’ve adopted have finally set me free to choose what is right.

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