Immune

I’m awake and the bathroom is tiny, I can barely fit. I close my eyes and focus, then I open them again and I’m in a beautiful luxurious bathroom where the tiles smile at me and its message relaxes your every sense.

The next moment he’s here, just being with me. Even without knowing what to do, he’s here and pretty good at liking me, maybe even loving me. Then the moment after that, he’s completely gone, a ghost almost. Was he ever here? Did he exist? He has vanished.

I wake up and it is beautiful and everything makes sense. I go to bed and wake up the next day and it was all taken away, driven away like the snow. Today I’m in love, tomorrow I’m heartbroken; it doesn’t matter.

Immunity is what I really crave. I want to be able to be happy with or without you. I want utter joy no matter where I am in this world, no matter what is happening. I want to feel detached from the results. I want to be and be happy at that. Life is too changing to place happiness on its moods, on its drifting winds.

In my dream I am immune. I wake up and have it all and that makes me smile. The next day I wake up and don’t have it all anymore but I’m still happy and I can still smile. I am immune to desire. The needing isn’t a requirement for happiness.

Today I woke up to this message and I encountered a wish worth making; A wish that could actually bring permanence, a wish that would make me immune to suffering. The funny thing is, that wish can be a reality if I work hard enough to use my thoughts in my advantage. We choose what we’re immune to, we choose how to live. We choose how attached or detached we can be from what is touchable.

I know how much easier it is said than done, but it’s still reachable and possible. I know the next choice I make will determine what I’m immune to. And today I open my eyes and no matter what surrounds me, I’m happy. I am happy because I can be. I am happy because I am immune to anything that can take away something as precious as joy.

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