I turned back the clock

Youth is an obsession. So I decided to go back and take a look. It’s 2003. I get to make new choices. Last year I graduated from High School, it’s today back in time. I’m 18 years old. Everything is exactly the same except I know what I know now.

What would I do? If I think that because of the pain the twists and turns have caused, I’d get the urge to stay in the box of a more conventional life. But if I think of the lessons I’ve learned because of that same pain…then I’d run away even faster from it.

If going back and changing my crazy decisions means not having met the people I’ve met, then I’d write down all the “mistakes” so that I could carefully make the same ones all over again.

Regarding my love life, I’d care less knowing that the right guy will see me and never let me go and I’d tell myself not to worry about it. That’s pretty much it regarding that. It doesn’t matter as much as society says it does, neither does youth.

I’d appreciate myself more. I’d be more present when I talk to others.

But the big question would be: would I take any of it back? No. Even after the heartache and regrets; no I wouldn’t.

Truth be told, I still feel 18 and probably will for a while. I do believe that age should never get in the way of starting over.

I am younger then but I’m better now. I am much better emotionally, physic ally & spiritually.

It’s 2003 and I get to make new choices but interestingly enough, I would make the same ones, even with the pain it brings, even with the struggle, even with the heartache. And without even knowing how it’ll all turn out, there should never be anything to change. Because life wasn’t created to be perfect but to be appreciated and learned from. And that I know I have.

I turned back the clock and I like it more now, much more.

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