Tiny red pill

Should I or shouldn’t I take this pill? It’s been proven to make you forget everything.

This pill is illegal but because I’m in this third world country, that you decided to leave, I could easily acquire it. It’s been proven to make you forget every single detail.

I’ve gotten to the point where having you here in my head is unbearable. I understand its end, but my heart won’t. That’s why they created this pill. The tiny red pill will make you forget the love that has been lost. It’s been proven to make you forget everything; the love, the pain, the struggle.

You couldn’t say you loved me right after I foolishly decided to give you my heart. You could cry but you couldn’t say you loved me, you just couldn’t; maybe you didn’t. The tiny red pill can remove the beautifully perfect moments I so selfishly won’t let go of. It’s been proven to ease the pain, the pain of the empty loneliness.

Since you left, I’ve felt invisible. Others cannot seem to see me, even if I wear red lipstick, they cannot taste my words. I cannot seem to know if I love or hate you but your indifference has cornered me into wanting to forget you. The pill could help me forget; forget what you never said.

It’s not just you but my inability to find the real you. It’s your face I cannot forget but it’s what you represent what causes all this pain, all the suffering. The tiny red pill can make me forget it all, past and present.

But if I do, I wouldn’t be brave, I wouldn’t be me. I cannot seem to figure it out. I cannot seem to find the real guy, the one that sees me and could never let me go. He who couldn’t let me go even if he tried.

I cannot seem to completely escape the prison of my mind. But as bloody and intense as it gets, I have to fight. I cannot bring myself to take the tiny red pill that could erase it all. Why? Because even as lost and invisible as I feel at times, when I’m seen, believe you me, you’ll never forget it; you’ll never let go. And that is worth the pain, worth the fight.


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