In between the pain and the loneliness, hope rears its head. Almost all of the time, the loss is felt except when the clouds part and there’s a tiny hole in the sky that whispers into your subconscious: “You’ll be alright, you will be loved.”
It should never be just about this, it isn’t. Life is so much more than romance. Why then do we let it steal away our days? It’s the power of the emotions. When someone makes you feel wanted, you feel as though you’re enough, even though you have always been enough, always. But it’s the reminder, the whisper of love, of joy. That’s what calms our soul.
When we lose what we never knew we always wanted, we become blind. We cannot seem to see what’s around us. I look at myself in the mirror and it’s a blur, I cannot distinguish one day from the next. And whilst I try to focus my vision on what I’m trying to be, there it is…the unexpected clarity. It unfortunately lasts only a mere minute. But for those 60 seconds, I can see, I can feel again. In that precious moment, there’s a beautiful glimpse of floating hope that wipes off my tears.
It doesn’t last, but it’s there. As soon as I lose my 20/20 vision once more, I start to use touch to get by. Loved ones hold my hand and help me through, reassuring me that clarity is coming. I smile because I believe them, even if I cannot seem to see it, even if the darkness won’t let me see, I believe them. I lose my patience when I remember how wonderful it feels to see all the colors of the rainbow. But then I breathe deeply knowing they’ll come back someday.
It’s that one glimpse that reminded me today that pain wasn’t built to last forever, just for a moment in time. Altogether, only for a glimpse.