Don’t let it

It’s not that hard, only as much as we allow it to get. It’s not that big, but just how close it actually is and how our focus is. It’s not a tragedy, it could even be a comedy instead. It’s an obstacle until we figure out the solution. It hurts, but it shouldn’t last.

I am currently still in a heartbroken state, might lose my job, gained a little weight and am dreading going back to a routine that is threatening to kill me. Everything reminds me of him and my mind tries to pull my dress up and mock me. I have to face my own demons, the hardest ones. It’s absolutely and utterly overwhelming until I decide it won’t be.

I must remember that it’s never really about what is happening but how you deal with it what makes a difference. I was about to break into tears because I thought I had the right to play the victim card until I decided I wouldn’t. Anytime the urge to complain or be the victim shows up, don’t let it. Whenever you think your life isn’t good enough, stop. Yes, it’s good to have goals and strive for a better life, but even more important than that is to protect our happiness. We should protect our happiness and peace as we do our loved ones.

I want to be happy with what I have no matter what. Why? Because I do not know how much time I have. If my life ends tomorrow, I want to be someone who didn’t let misery settle in. Someone who knew what it was all really about. Someone who enjoyed each and every moment and not taking it for granted. Someone who tried hard but most importantly lived passionately. And when the urge to get sad or give up sneaks up on you, smile at it, mock it, be better than it. You are better than that.

Today is the first day of a brand new year and I am determined to be happy, peaceful, accomplished, loved, loving, brave, strong and surrounded by those who matter most. And if any emotion, human or monster tries to bring you down, don’t let it. Just don’t. You have a choice, never forget that.


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