I woke up searching for something to worry about. Is it the guy I used to love? Is it my love life in general? Am I not doing what I love? Am I successful enough? And then it hit me, there’s nothing there. There’s nothing to worry about and if I’m not careful, I might never be happy. Because what’s easily missed is the importance of our habits. Let’s say I wake up today and I have it all…but I will be so used to worrying, I will probably continue to do so.
Happiness isn’t what will be; happiness is what we choose to be. Something happened today. My mind was trying to fall into a bad habit, the habit of worrying. This is one of the worst habits to have because it can ruin your days; it rains on your parade. The easiest matter to worry about for me is my love life and my career. But then I wake up to find that what I have or don’t have has nothing to do with how happy I can be. I have more than I can ask for and it’s still not enough? That’s not right. And now I’m tired. It’s exhausting to feel entitled, to think we deserve more than we do. We have so much already.
Today I felt peace because I stopped myself from falling into the trap. If we continue to be the prisoners of our own bad habits, how can we expect to feel better or be better? Yes, old habits die hard. But those that believe that old habits die hard are precisely the ones that never break them. Today is just one day but if I keep thinking in a more positive way and choose not to fall into the dysfunction of worry, I not only believe I’ll break the bad habits, but I know I will. And that’s who I choose to be. Yes, I have made mistakes and I have had dysfunctional habits in the past, but it’s never too late to start making better choices. As soon as we tell ourselves we’re too old or it’s too late, we’ve lost.
I have moments where I get the urge to worry. The urge is powerful and it is a little voice trying to whisper into my subconscious what I haven’t accomplished or what I haven’t become. I used to give into it, believing it. Now I’m done. I am whatever I choose to constantly think and be. I am truly determined to break free from my bad habits. I have been trying to break the bad habit for almost a month and I cannot even explain how much better I feel. It’s true that when you act as if everything is OK, it will be. Happiness is not waiting for you at the end of the tunnel, it’s not a goal, it’s a habit. Today I realized that getting the guy or having it all isn’t what will help me feel joy, how I think is what will bring me the greatest joy. So that when I do actually have it all, I will already be happy because I chose to be.
If life was created full of imperfections, why should we wait for everything to be “perfect” in order for us to be happy? Happiness is now and lives nowhere else.