We forget how different we are from each other. We’re connected but how we perceive our world makes all the difference in the world. It’s absurd to be offended when someone doesn’t act the way we expect them to…he or she perceives the world in a way we will never know. We shouldn’t try to understand why they do what they do, but instead know that we weren’t created to know their perception and simply understand how everyone’s outlook is different. I am reading about Alfred Adler. I don’t know much but what I have been able to understand is that he believes that we cannot take anyone’s word for what happened because the same thing could happen to two people and their experience can be completely different and have a different impact in their lives.
Why then do we expect to understand why others act in a certain way when we could never understand? I find this fascinating. This is why psychology is so interesting, it explains why we are how we are and even helps you cope. I like how Adler’s purpose is to help you become more empathetic. It has even helped me feel better about a recent heartbreak. Thinking I have a right to be upset at someone because they don’t act in a way I think is best has become a bad habit. But what do I know? It’s not an excuse because I know what I deserve, but all I should know is that the person’s perception is an unknown world to me and his world and mine cannot coexist for the time being.
Whenever something doesn’t work out with someone it’s important to remember how unique their perception is. It’s important to remember that every person’s perception is influenced by their own experiences, therefore creating a unique way of seeing and dealing with the eventualities of life. My truth is different from yours and from anyone else’s. This was groundbreaking because I do tend to expect people to get me and act in a way that makes sense to me. In the end, I want to meet someone who gets me, loves me and doesn’t hurt me. All I have to do is find someone with a perception similar to mine but never expecting it to be exactly the same because that is clearly impossible. Siblings are the perfect example. Siblings can be very similar and be raised in the same way but their perception can be so different that their lives can end up being opposites.
Perception is everything and the next time someone does something you don’t understand, just know they don’t know anything but their own perception. Just find someone whose perception mixes well with yours and you’re set. In the end, it’s not what happens to you but how you deal with what happens to you what matters most.