Worth

It´s easy to get off track; it´s easy to want something and forget what it´s all really about. I hold my life very dear and I find it annoying when I´m the one that forgets how precious and worthy it is. When someone disrespects us, we allow it to happen. I´ve put myself in a situation I don´t like but then I remember my worth and all the beautiful colors and shapes my life carries in its pockets and I remember. I love to write, I love to sing, I love to listen and observe. I love to teach and I love to evolve. I love to read and I love to grow in the most unlikely circumstances.

They insert a chip inside our brains saying we cannot possibly end up alone or there is clinically something wrong with us. I was raised in a conservative society where judgment was strong. As much as I like to believe I´ve broken free from the cage, the strong energy belonging to the constraining environment I grew up in, cripples inside my brain now and then. I have to remind myself constantly of who I am and what I truly believe in. Yes, I have made mistakes but never big enough not to keep being myself and knowing there´s nothing wrong.

I wish romance was as easy as friendship. When it comes to attracting friends, I´m a pro and I feel really lucky to have the friends that I do; past present and even future. No matter what I`m going through, I have loved ones reminding me how valuable and wonderful I am, I do not take it for granted.

I´ve felt lonely lately and that´s OK. I´m tired of resisting what is. I thought I could beat myself to death asking myself whether I´ve done something wrong or not. I used to wonder if I was good enough. And then I look at myself honestly and I clearly see my worth. I still wonder what drives us to forget our worth; what drives us to question who we are and what we deserve.

I know I´m complex and my life has been an unconventional one. But at the end of the day, I never want to be the person that plays the victim but instead survives and comes out better and stronger no matter what. It´s easier said than done, but the more I believe who I want to be, the more likely I´ll become her. I do feel I´m on my way and I hope I get to be who I´ve always wanted to be soon enough. And until then, I´m happy with who I am; with or without you.

As my good friend Nick would say, remember what is worth your time and what isn´t and when it´s not, let it go…as simple as that.

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