I wish you could feel the way I feel. But you cannot feel because the pain caused from before was as real as the love itself. I hurt a man like you and maybe this is its consequence. I truly never meant to break his heart, I just couldn´t love him. Now, someone like you cannot give me his heart back. It´s funny and sad.
Life is a joke, he said. I guess it is, but when my heart is the punch line, it´s harder to laugh. I´m not sure I love him yet, but I´m sure I could have fallen in love with time. I might not love you, but I love us. I love how emotions such as jealously, control, anger and disappointed didn´t even show their ugly heads. I love how fast it could happen and how comfortable it felt.
It´s funny how long it takes to find someone you could see yourself with. It´s sad that we´re not here anymore, we´re miles apart. The closer the world gets, the harder the bonds become. It´s funny how this all happened so flawlessly and sad that I don´t know what you´re doing or what you´re thinking at this very moment. I hope I´m in your head, even if only for a little while; you´re in my mind right now and not many get to play inside my head. You´re running around, playing with my ideas and making me smile and cry simultaneously.
You had a steady hand and I got used to it. You´re not perfect but neither am I. You made me really happy and then your absence made me sad. You gave me more than I expected and for that I´m forever grateful. I don´t know when the joke will end, but I´m still hoping for it to be good enough for me to laugh.
I wish you could feel the way I feel. But you can´t, not right now and I completely understand because I feel the same way. It´s funny and it´s sad.