Not knowing

There is a good and bad side of not knowing. Not knowing if I’m good enough at what I do, not knowing how and when I’ll find love…not knowing if I’m making the right decisions career wise and simply the not knowing. I do love to have things under control and the entire not knowing deal screws me up. But you know what? If we knew everything, then maybe we wouldn’t even get out of bed. The unknown has its reasons and the greatest thing about not knowing is faith. All we can do is give everything we can and then the rest is up to God; or whatever you believe in. So how do I not worry about the stupid stuff? How do I trust more? Just by growing; the more I grow and realize what really matters, the less I stress about the small insignificant stuff.

Sometimes we think that knowing it all will give us the peace and happiness we want and that’s completely false. The not knowing keeps us going, makes us fight and makes us be surprised of how life can be much better by not knowing and having things fall into place along the way. I usually think that maybe I’m not good for anything…but truthfully I have to know that I’m good at everything. Making mistakes does not mean that we suck…it just means that we’re learning and growing. I think mistakes were created for growth. People, who think they know it all, have no clue whatsoever.

All I know is this: Life is about laughing and making the most out of what we have. It’s about being brave and knowing that you tried even though you fail. I just want to do everything and have no regrets. I know if I trust and believe, things just happen. Of course that there are things that I still don’t understand, but I’m really not supposed to. I realize now that the 20’s is the “search” decade. We search for who we are, what we believe in and for the meanings. So I’m starting to learn what really matters and how to let go of that which I do not know. Sometimes we just have to let things be and not try to control them.

At the end of the day it’s all about doing what feels right not about knowing it all. The knowing is a good tool, but the feeling is on top of it. You can’t explain it, you just feel it. The knowing is the mind and the feeling is the heart…and everything that’s good in life is in my heart, so I should trust it more than anything else.

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