Sleeping to dream

He’s tired because he has to live without her. He wants to go back to sleep so that he can see her and be with her. He’s tired and so am I sometimes. I’m tired of having to live without you. Jason knew what it was like and I still know. Day by day I’m more realistic. Being a dreamer feels as if it’s a straight line to nowhere, specially here. Yes, the dreamers are tired but at least they know they are. I do sleep to dream about you but deep inside I know you exist and that in itself makes the loneliness less lonely. You think you’re really different and then you doubt and wonder if maybe you’re ordinary. But, from where I stand, most people aren’t really feeling or being. As long as I’m willing to try, I don’t care if that makes me special or not; it’s real and that’s what matters to me most. And when it comes to boys and girls, I am an amateur. I meet a guy and my head is in the sky and then I fall and I’m hurt and the bruise encourages me to stop dreaming about love. But the problem is that I forget and then the next guy comes along and there I go again, doing the dreaming.

Most adults aren’t dreamers and that’s when the child within dies. I really try to hold on, but sometimes it’s hard. Why? Because it’s easier to get the job, get the guy; be popular and having it “all” by being typical. My mind has been polluted by the people and by society. Day by day I remind myself what it’s really about. It’s a constant reminder I must take one in the morning and one at night. Love is primal and yet we’ve found a way to complicate the most natural element on Earth. It’s amazing the powers we humans have.

That’s why the dreams about love and you are still alive, hope sustains them. They are alive and in constant change, just as I am. What I thought I wanted a while ago has nothing to do with what I see when I go to sleep now. And as romantic as it sounds, when I truly see him, I’ll know and he’ll smile knowing too. And that’s when we’ll be able to share the dreams we see when we sleep.

I am really going to try to keep believing that my reality will catch up with the visions in my sleep. Until then I will keep sleeping to dream about you. Hey, if you showed up in my dreams, who’s to say you won’t show up here? I’m sure I’ll see you around somehow. Wear a red rose or something so that you’re easier to spot. What is meant to happen will in fact happen. In the end I’m grateful for the dreaming. The dreaming is beautiful and it is a window to the soul. Who says the world of wonder isn’t as real as this one? Who decides what is real to you and what isn’t? You do. You decide what is and what isn’t. I am sleeping to dream about you but that doesn’t make me sad, it makes me hopeful. I simply love you and that’s why I want you in both my worlds. I’ll see you there and soon I’ll see you here as well. I enjoy every minute of the dreaming because it splashes color to this very black and white world I’m currently in.

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