She comes in and mistreats you. Out of the blue she starts attacking you and you are taken by surprise. She tells you all the things you’re doing wrong and she’s harder on you because you represent everything she’s not; everything she could have been. Resentment and envy go hand in hand. If you’re in any way strong or authentic, you’ll be resented for it. If you’re fighting to do what you think is right, people will turn green with envy. I do not know why this is but I know that it is. Saying that somebody envies you sounds deeply conceded. But it really does not matter what it is or not, what matters is how they act. May it be this or that; people who are resentful, frustrated or bitter take it out on those who don’t share their misery. It is awful and unfair. But once more, that is how it is.
It’s not my job to say how horrible it is, it’s my job to learn and choose how I am going to react to it. I did not understand this before. I thought I had a right to express myself no matter what. But as big of a fan as I am of expression and fighting for your rights, your reaction will be a direct reflection of what you hold inside. And I want what’s inside of me to be peace and forgiveness. I want to know better than those that take out their issues on others. This is very difficult but I am very much fascinated by it and therefore want to learn how to master it. I want to learn this kindness because the satisfaction that comes of it is worth ten times more the satisfaction that comes from getting back at somebody. I recently read about this in a wonderful book I’m reading by Henry Cloud. One of his principles is about not playing fair. When I first read this title, I was shocked. And then I found it to be wise and profound.
What if instead of lowering to other people’s actions, we try to bring them up to ours? Kill them with kindness and what will die will be conflict. Let go of the dysfunction and what you’ll be left with is peace. This is something new for me but it completely makes sense. This principle is exclacly the same feeling you get when you meet someone for the first time but deep inside your soul it’s as if you’ve known them forever. Or as Henry would say; “it’s déjà vu.”