The hard decisions

To be or not to be? That is the question. Not being able to make decisions can be torturing. When I was three, my parents were faced with a hard decision. They could either stay in New York and raise a family there or come back to Guatemala.  Can you imagine how different my life would be if I had been raised in New York? Maybe I’d be a singer, maybe I wouldn’t. Maybe I’d be insane, maybe not. I’ll never know how it could have been but I know it would have been completely different.

What startles me is how you make a decision and then that’s it. No turning back. It’s not a bad thing, just a reality. Should have, could have, would have…is good for nothing. The important thing is to make the most out of what you decided and remind yourself why you made the decision in the first place. I try not to think about it that much but then I do. It’s easy to judge other people’s decision; and then it’s your turn. Once it was up to me to make the decisions, I understood how hard it can be. I am very impulsive and have found myself making many life changing decisions. Why? Is it to make me stronger? To find happiness? Of course. People who don’t find themselves making any decisions are people who are in a state of conformity, not truly alive. I’d rather risk it and decide, rather than never know. You see, I am ‘the risk it kind of girl.’ I may not have had exactly the outcomes I expected, but I can honestly say that my life has been greater than I could have ever imagined it would be; full of adventure, color, struggles and intensity.

I think it’s important to consider the pros and cons. I’ve made mistakes, I’ve been in pain. But decisions faced are always a success in growth. Even if we feel we made a mistake, it’s always better than not facing it at all. Sometimes the hardest decision is the best one. And then courage has to kick in. It’s not easy but it’s life. I constantly find myself packing my bags and moving. That’s insane. But then I remind myself that if I don’t live my life this way now, when will I? If I don’t take chances and face hard decisions, who will I become? I do think that, in the end, you’ll regret more the things you didn’t do than the ones you did. I still have many decision to make; mistakes to create. But no matter what I decide, I do not want to feel regret. As painful as it is for me to admit, I cherish hard decisions; for they are the ones that make us improve and change what we’re supposed to. They are the ones that remind us to wake up and live life. It’s now or never. I can’t be afraid. I have to know that trying is brave. And the brave ones are the ones that change the world.

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